Enseignez la patience!

Did you see the article in the WSJ titled “Why French Parents are Superior” based on a new book “Bringing Up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting”? I am sure that between this new book and “The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother,” we poor American parents are feeling a little put upon.

I am nowhere close to being a parenting expert (just ask my two teens), but I am always interested to add a new skill to my parenting tool kit. Or in this case, I was able to confirm an important life skill that just happens to relate to learning to be financially responsible:

Teach your children to have patience.

In the article, the author spoke about the importance of your children learning patience. Also known as: delayed gratification. (She even referenced the famous Marshmallow Experiment…see my blog entry). This is one of the most important money skills for your children to master. It is difficult to learn when we live in a world with instant everything from text messaging to fast food to WI-FI access everywhere.

How will our children learn to be patient? When it comes to money, they will need to have patience so they won’t have to live with bad money habits. For example, how many of us have purchased something we really couldn’t afford but went ahead and bought it anyway on credit. We bought now, and paid for it later.

A better money habit is to set a goal, save for it, and then purchase. And when it comes to investing your money, watching your money grow takes a lot of patience. Compounding interest works like magic, but it doesn’t grow over night. It takes time. Time can work for you, or against you. Invest now, watch your money grow. Or live beyond your means now, watch your future become more expensive as inflation takes over.

The best way for your children to learn the money skills they need to be financially healthy adults is for you to start an Allowance Program and talk about money in everyday situations.

And, maybe a little French lesson is not so bad after all: Enseignez à votre patience de l'argent enfants.

Translation: Teach your kids money patience.

Are you a Spendster?

In keeping with last week’s theme of marshmallows and self- control, here is an interesting website called Spendster.org. It offers you a chance to tell your story via video of how over-spending or impulse buying is wasting your money. It’s a fun way of coming clean about your money mistakes and hopefully learning how to better manage your finances.

On the home page is a cool calculator that shows you how much money you are wasting and where it could be used instead.

One of my favorite videos is a 4 year old who tattles on her spend thrift parents! Check it out here.

While this is a fun website, the underlying lessons for your children are invaluable:

• We all make spending mistakes. It’s a great lesson for kids and teens to learn while they are young and their mistakes are not too costly.
• It is important to realize when you have over-spent or if you have the tendency to buy on impulse. Learning to indentify a spending mistake or an impulse tendency can help your kids and teens to get back on track with better spending habits.

What can you do?

• Help you kids and teens develop a budget and teach them to stick to it.
• Discuss the difference between a need and a want.
• Show them that it’s ok to make a mistake…but to learn from it.
• And it’s OK to laugh at ourselves and our mistakes every now and then!

 

(Spendster is part of the National Endowment for Financial Education NEFE.)

Your Child’s Financial Personality

We've talked about WHY you give your child allowance. We've talked about passing on your money VALUES to your children. So, you're ready to jump in and give allowance. Stop! There is one more important step.

It is important to know your child. Just like all those parenting books say – each child has their own personality….and each one will have their own financial personality!

Are they a saver? Or are they a spender? You will need to know so you can adjust their allowance to fit them. Your child may not have extreme traits but he or she will tend to lean towards a saver or a spender.

Here are a few questions that will help you determine if your child is a saver or a spender:

How do they treat their money?
A spender tends to….leave their money lying around the house.
A saver tends to…carefully put their money in their wallet or piggy bank.

How do they handle gift certificates or “found” money?
A spender tends to… rush to the store to spend it all.
A saver tends to…be reluctant to spend it and will save it for “later”.

How do they decide what they want to buy?
A spender tends to…want the “hot” new toy that their friends have or will be swayed by advertising.
A saver tends to…be more careful in choosing their purchases and may save up and then choose not to buy the item after all.

How does your child treat your money?
A spender tends to….be willing to pay for something with their own money if you won’t open your wallet for it.
A saver tends to…let you pay whenever your offer!

ACTION PLAN

If you have a spender – you can give allowance on a day when they can’t rush out to spend it or pay them less often so they learn to spread out their allowance and make it last until next payday.

If you have a saver – you will need to set short and long term spending goals so they can see the joy of spending their hard earned savings.